🧠 DBT Therapy Cheat Sheet#

Goal: Regulate intense emotions, tolerate distress, improve relationships, and stay present.

Core Skill Areas: Mindfulness • Distress Tolerance • Emotion Regulation • Interpersonal Effectiveness

📖 Table of Contents#

1. Mindfulness
2. Distress Tolerance
3. Emotion Regulation
4. Interpersonal Effectiveness
5. 30-Second Reset

1. Mindfulness — Being present & non-judgmental#

What to do#

• 🧠 Observe — Notice thoughts, feelings, sensations
• 🗣️ Describe — Put words on what you observe
• 🎯 Participate — Be fully in the moment

How to do it#

• 🕊️ Non-judgmentally (facts only — no “good/bad”)
• 🧘 One-mindfully (one thing at a time)
• ⚡ Effectively (do what works, not what “should”)

Quick grounding tip: 5-4-3-2-1 → 5 see • 4 feel • 3 hear • 2 smell • 1 taste

2. Distress Tolerance — Crisis survival, not problem-solving#

🛑 STOP Skill#

• Stop
• Take a step back
• Observe
• Proceed mindfully

⚡ TIPP Skills — fast body reset#

• ❄️ Temperature change (cold water / ice on face)
• 🏃 Intense exercise (1–2 mins)
• 🌬️ Paced breathing (inhale 4, exhale 6)
• 💪 Paired muscle relaxation

🧘 Self-soothing (5 senses)#

• 👀 Sight
• 🎵 Sound
• 🌸 Smell
• 🍫 Taste
• ✋ Touch

🎭 Distract with ACCEPTS#

• 🎨 Activities
• 🤝 Contributing
• ⚖️ Comparisons
• 🎭 Emotions (create opposite)
• 🛑 Pushing away (temporarily)
• 🧩 Thoughts (puzzles, counting)
• ❄️ Sensations (ice cube, hot shower)

3. Emotion Regulation — Lower the intensity#

PLEASE — reduce vulnerability#

• 🩺 Physical illness — treat it
• 💤 Low sleep — repair it
• 🍎 Eating — balanced meals
• 🚫 Avoid mood-altering drugs
• 🛌 Sleep — 7–9 hours
• 🏋️ Exercise — regularly

Change the emotion#

• 🔍 Check the facts — Does the emotion match reality?
• 🔄 Opposite action — Act opposite the urge (if emotion doesn’t fit facts)
• 🌟 Build positives — Short & long term
• 🏆 Build mastery — Do something challenging

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness — Clear, healthy communication#

DEAR MAN — ask for what you want#

• 📝 Describe — facts only
• 💬 Express — feelings
• 💪 Assert — clearly
• 🎁 Reinforce — what’s in it for them
• 🧘 Mindful — stay on topic
• 💼 Appear confident — body language
• 🤝 Negotiate — be flexible

GIVE — maintain relationships#

• 🤗 Gentle
• 👂 Interested
• ✅ Validating
• 😌 Easy manner

FAST — keep self-respect#

• ⚖️ Fair
• 🙏 Apologies — don’t overdo
• 🛡️ Stick to your values
• 🗣️ Truthful

🚨 When you’re overwhelmed (30-second reset)#

1. 🏷️ Name the emotion: “I’m feeling ___.”
2. 📊 Rate it: 0–10
3. ❓ Ask: Do I need calm, clarity, courage, or communication?
4. ✅ Do ONE:
   • ❄️ Ice water on face
   • 🌬️ 10 slow breaths
   • 🖐️ 5-4-3-2-1 grounding
   • 📝 Write a 3-bullet DEAR MAN